I’ve been receiving a ton of feedback for my new book, “The 7-Day Back Pain Cure” and as I was reading through it all I was reminded about one very important thing…
And that is, your attitude will determine whether you are ever able to get lasting relief. Let me prove it to you…
Here’s some feedback I received from a reader:
I haven’t finished the book yet, (on page 116) but I’m beginning to get discouraged because you keep talking about how you are going to help my back pain but it consists of buying or getting something else. It’s like a carrot that you can never reach.
Disappointed,
Name withheld to protect the identity of this loser
Yes, I said it… LOSER!
See, we can choose to be winners or we can choose to be losers. Losers like to blame all their problems on other people and outside circumstances and don’t like to take any responsibility over their situation.
Winners on the other hand, are determined to achieve their goals… they don’t blame others, instead they own their situation and take action to fix it or improve it. Getting rid of pain is no different.
Here’s some more proof… more feedback for my book:
Your back pain book is excellent, and I am applying the principles in it to my neck pain. Have also watched several of your online videos, including the inversion one and the neck one. I have bought a funny pillow, am holding myself properly (when I remember!) and trying to remember not to tip my head forward and while driving. Thank you so much for the generous package of CDs and the book, which you surely are sending out at an initial financial loss to yourself.
As for the inversion machine, the far infrared heat pad, the enzymes and the knobby board that punches out trigger points, I am making my own stuff here, hanging upside-down off an exercise chair and over a large exercise ball, using a long bean bag that I heat in our microwave, and lying on a home-made board to get the knots out of my back. If these don’t help, I might have to spring for some of your equipment. Your “global” approach is absolutely right, and many back-pain sufferers are surely thanking you for that. All best to you in your good work, Jesse.
– Susan Bingham
First, thank you Susan… you are a WINNER.
Not only is Susan thankful for the knowledge she’s gained from my book (which again is FREE!) and she is taking action. She’s not complaining that she actually has to do something other than read the book… and she’s being creative to find ways to try to accomplish the same things as various treatment devices like the inversion table, the trigger point system, etc.
Every day that we wake up we get to make choices. I am challenging you to make sure the choices you are making are the choices that a winner makes.
And don’t underestimate the power of this… this is why some people get relief in days or hours and others struggle for years or decades.
Also, if you are offended by this, then get lost. Unsubscribe from our email list and go on being a loser… whining, complaining, blaming others and stay in pain. But I hope you won’t… because I do want to help you, but only IF you want to help yourself and if you are going to be a winner.
One last thing, this subject is certainly worthy of many many hours and this post is simply to point out the difference that attitudes make. I highly encourage you to read the book “The Story of You” by Steve Chandler. It’s an excellent book… and one of my all-time favorites (and I’ve read a ton!). I don’t get anything for recommending it… other than the satisfaction of knowing a few winners will go get his book, read it and use it to improve their lives.
So which are you going to be?
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Hello Jesse,
While I have been a fan of yours for a couple of years now and do believe in the muscle inbalance theory that you profess and help with, I also understand what the writer meant when they said that it seems there is always something else to purchase to help relieve the pain. So don’t be so hard on them. You really do market many many products ongoing. And needless to say, many folks including myself do not have the funds to purchase these items.
That said, keep up the good work and I will keep on reading the email and have passed on information to friends.
Jesse, you have made it clear all along that there is no magic pill or product that will work for everyone. Some treatments work for some people and not for others. I appreciate the fact that you are always honestly reviewing products (good and bad) that are out there that might actual help me.
Jesse,
What I have gleaned from your book so far is that you are really offering up your wisdom as to what you have found works and doesn’t work in healing back pain. As a back pain expert myself, I think you have some very good ideas and suggestions. You also encourage people to get active in their healing, which I think it is great.
However, I feel sad that your response to someone expressing disappointment with your book was to call them a loser. I feel disheartened when I hear your response. I would like to see you apologize publicly for calling this person a “loser”.
Apologize? Are you kidding? No chance…
I feel sad for people who are living their lives like this, but it certainly is not my fault…
And the purpose of this post is to wake people up a bit…
As I said in the article, anyone who blames others for their pain/problems… can’t find any good in a situation (or a book full of powerful concepts)… is a loser… but that doesn’t mean once a loser always a loser.
Look, we all have points in our life where we are losers… I know I had mine.
Jesse, I have just ordered your book and am looking forward to reading it. It was interesting to read your post and I felt like replying. It read like you were deeply offended by the persons response who was not ready to take on your information. Directly calling them a “loser” and then telling them to “get lost” seemed reactive to me, and judgmental. I found these words harsh to read and was disappointed, even though I understood that your post came from a passionate belief in your research and a desire to help as many people as possible by shocking them into action. But if still felt jarring and negative. Healing from pain requires courage to change on many levels, persistence to keep trying after slow progress or failing, and time and often money in the search for success. I agree that it is sad that a person who could heal from following your advice may not simply by staying ignorant or unwilling to act on it. But we are all on our own journeys and at different levels of acceptance. May you continue on helping people heal themselves and may those in need be ready to take your help.
What a shame that you called this person a loser! What I got from their feedback was that they were simply disappointed to have to go and buy more things. They said nothing about having to ‘do’ something or be pro-active in their health. They are obviously reading the book to find out more about how to better take care of themselves. Loser? I don’t think that is appropriate at all. I also think you could reframe the way you speak about loser/winner stuff. They were offering constructive feedback. There’s a big grey area there.
I thought when I read the heading about having a winner or a loser attitude, that it would be a bit of a process of weighing up our own personal attitude perspective.
I didn’t find this post at all constructive, other than the reply comments after it.
I, too, had a similar reaction to reading your book. It gives some wonderful suggestions of things to start doing initially to help relieve pain, but the main crux of your book, dealing with muscle imbalances, is a whole different system that has to be purchased. I thought that by reading your book I would be given the tools I needed to conquer my pain right away. I have spent SO much money on trying to find relief that I start to think that maybe I could go on forever to try to find the cure. There is no end to the products that are out there and the money that I could sink into them. I know that this could be seen as negative thinking, but the line has got to be drawn somewhere. I can’t keep buying everything that sounds good. After saying all that in support of the poor person who was overwhelmed by having to spend more money, I approached my husband and asked him if I could once more order a product to help my back. Since he wants me to get relief almost as much as I do, he said, “Yes.” I have ordered your CD’s, the Back Joy and the Trigger Point board. I am hoping that this will actually save me money in the long run. Please do not be too hard on the person who is having a hard time financially. Just because they can’t purchase something else does not mean they aren’t willing to get rid of their pain. I am sure that if the exercises had been in your book, they would have started doing them the day they finished reading. Especially now in this economically difficult time, have some mercy. At least this person is searching for the answer, as evidenced is their getting your book. That does not equate to a “loser” in my book. I have to finish this with a “thank you” for your passion in helping people find relief. You need to be careful, though, that by calling someone a “loser” you don’t so cripple them emotionally that they actually stay that way for the rest of their lives. I think your goal in life is to help people.
I agree with Jules, how is that reader in any way like “anyone who blames others for their pain/problems… can’t find any good in a situation (or a book full of powerful concepts)”? He/she just wants a book that will show them how to cure back pain (which is how it is marketed) without having to fork out more money to do it! Imagine buying a recipe book with only half the recipe in it, and then having to buy the other half to complete the recipe. I am still undecided as to whether to buy your book. Good on the reader who is improvising with stuff at home.
Jesse, you’re the loser! You asked for feedback and you got it. If you want it to come out just the way you want it write it yourself! If you’re goiing to ask for feedback MAN UP and take it for what it is…………..feedback you asked for; everyone is not going to be able to benefit in a manner that pleases you. I suspect you created defiance from the LOSER, I haven’t looked yet but I wonder what her comments are on Amazon! And I doubt you will be recommended to any of her friends or family. Not to mention you probably lost a two year follower! Bad PR and bad people skills!!
P.S. Judging from the comments I’m reading here from others who have read your book your comments regarding Rose weren’t appreciated. Once again…………bad PR and bad people skills!
Hi Jesse
I am new to reading your emails.
I am a psychologist and have read much on pain and pain relief, from on different angles from physiological to biological to psychological to spiritual and many combinations.
As well as that I have purchased literally tens and tens of thousands of dollars of therapeutic goods and services in just seven years after a back injury.
When I read your comment about a reader being a loser, it made me think about your own psychology rather than the reader to who you referred.
It also immediately had me begin to discredit your articles, which is a shame as I feel you have a lot to offer on physiological therapies at least.
It seemed like a personal attack rather than offering the reader any expertise.
I will continue to read what you have to say but I must admit I will find it much more difficult to see you in the same light, as a professional expert in pain relief as I had begun to before reading today’s comment.
We all have our moments though and it would be easy to re-credit yourself with a professional apology to the reader for making her pain worse by kicking her while she is down.
You of all people understand how one’s psychology affects their physiology, Name calling and calling anyone a loser isn’t professional, it is school yard bullying at best and it causes harm rather than provides any good or healing.
For “tough love” to have any affect, one needs to have established a deep foundation of the latter in one’s clients/readers before applying to tough part.
I am awaiting delivery of your book, but was really upset to see your comments about losers and winners. We are not all affluent and not always able to purchase yet more items in the vain hope that they will work. I am a pensioner and have taken a proactive approach to my own health. I keep out of the hands of doctors and pills and keep an open mind on methods of maintaining a healthy body. But I cannot spen money without really giving it some serious thought, like many other.
Is your ego really so fragile that you are unable to take a constructive comment without “Losing it”?
My Guess on Jesse’s real intent:
I think Jesse is trying to say that real healing comes from the inside out.
Here’s a secret: NOBODY can heal your back pain but you. No book, supplement, tool, device or therapeutic practitioner can do it for you.
Our minds are very strong. Henry Ford is famous for saying, “Whether you think you can do a thing or think or can’t do a thing, you’re right.”
So if you’re mind is convinced that you can’t heal your back all on your own and you need something to help you, then DO IT. People heal their backs all the time following some person’s advice or suggestions.
But doesn’t that just fly in the face of what I just said, that no can but you can heal your back? It’s a paradox, I know.
For all we know, the person who Jesse called a “loser” got exactly what they needed to finally heal themself. Maybe this person has gone to this expert or that expert and with Jesse’s rejection they might have said, “I guess I need to figure this out myself.” Google for “Morris Goodman miracle man”…doctors told him he would never walk again and would likely die and after much determination and healing he walked out of the hospital on his own two legs. He simply made up his mind to do it. Many of us make up our mind that we can’t do it.
Nevertheless, in order for healing to occur with the help of another human being, there needs to be trust. And in my opinion, Jesse just shot the person he named “loser” and many others. I can see the same disappointment and distrust in other comments on this forum. Jesse’s books and products really don’t mean much without someone believing and trusting Jesse the person. I cannot endorse his book or products because I am left with a bad taste in my mouth. I need to trust that anyone I might send to Jesse for help would be treated with kindness and respect.
I also agree with Shireen’s comments about tough love. Deep love and respect must be in place first and in my opinion, Jesse has not taken the effort to do this yet.
It opens a door for people’s judgments and fears to run rampant, such as some of the Amazon comments that say the book is nothing but a big advertisement and offers no real substance.
Jesse, what I do value and respect of you is that you have made this forum available for people’s real thoughts and feelings be heard and seen publicly. It also shows me that maybe you are willing to be honest about what you really think and feel.
Many of you are MISSING the point.
First, you can’t expect to just read the book and wake up the next day without pain… you have to take action… and in the book I give you “action plans” and show you exactly what I have found works the best…
My book teaches many strategies, some that do require investing in equipment, treatment with a health care professional, better food, supplements, etc… but there are also many things that can be done without spending any more money…
And if you cant afford a particular treatment then skip it for now and do what you can, but for crying out loud, don’t just sit there complaining… dump the negative attitude and take action… implement as much as you can… and make a personal commitment to yourself that you WILL get better…
Look, inversion therapy is very effective, do you want me to ship everyone a free inversion table also?
Anyone who reads the book and complains, doesn’t get it…. I give you THE secret to getting lasting relief and preventing future flare-ups… and instead of taking whatever action you can, you complain that there are things that can help you but they aren’t free.
Second, I don’t sugar coat things… if you don’t like it, don’t read my stuff. I don’t care if my views offend people… all they are are my views.
I’m out to help people… and I can help a lot more people by being honest…
People don’t need to be lied to… babied… because when you do that, they continue down the same path.
And how am I loser? I am taking the feedback… but I’m pointing out one of the biggest reasons so many people suffer… and that is, negative attitudes and beliefs.
And last, I am not concerned with “bad PR”… I’m concerned with helping as many people as possible, the ones who are willing to stop whining, complaining and take action.
I agree that complaining and whinging is annoying and is of no use, but I’ve noticed people who aren’t in any physical pain do it too. Pain gives most people good perspective, eventually, to appreciate the tiniest little things and moments and what is important in life. I like what you aid above Jesse, it is different to what you said earlier of at least expresses it a lot better than the teenager word of loser.
After reading the winner/loser comments and responses, my hypothesis is that Jesse chose his comments carefully to generate a buzz to intrigue his readers and increase interest in his site. Negative PR is PR. Any PR that drives traffic to his site and gets more people interested in what he is doing is successful PR–even if it has a negative tone. Jesse, do you want to weigh in on this comment?
True, pr is pr, but my word choice was intentional… yes, I could have used “softer” words but as I said in previous comments, my goal is not to get everyone to “like me”…
my goal is to help people get rid of their pain and improve their lives.
And let’s face it, the truth sometimes hurts… but that hurt is often what lights a fire under some of us and gets us to finally take action.
Jesse, Maybe you could think about the need for compassion and understanding. Kindness and respect, as Jason said, is an important ingredient in healing. Maybe that person was reaching out, and you just blasted their fragile beginnings of healing. People ‘don’t need babying’, sure, but they don’t need pummelling into the ground either.