Self-control is fun because it is the one form of control that is not frightening. Other forms of control happen from outside of us. They come rudely crashing into our lives and frighten us. Some kind of control will happen, no matter what.
You will always have some kind of control influencing your life. The only question is, from where? Control from the outside (frightening) or control from the inside (exciting)? If we don’t develop self-control, we will be controlled by others. It is going to be one way or the other.
When we are immature, it is almost as if we prefer our control to have some kind of outside element. Some person outside ourselves who will make us happy. Or some fortunate external event. Some so-called “good thing” happening.
That was true for me for far too many years. My happiness was way out there. It wasn’t anywhere near where I was. I used to dream that it would somehow come to me. Some happy situation. Some opportunity to be totally free. My ship! I just knew it would come in.
Little did I (let myself) know that the ship was harbored inside of me all along.
Comments from Jesse:
Steve is absolutely right. We either develop exciting self-control or we’ll find ourselves continually at the mercy of frightening outside forces, whether those are people, circumstances, or merely our own false perceptions. And our sense of control applies to overcoming pain as much as any other area in life.
If you continue to struggle with the external control vs. internal control, I strongly urge you to listen to Steve’s audio presentation, Owner vs Victim (it’s free). This audio was transformational for me and it might just change your life too.