Did you know that for every additional month a woman is in a relationship, her sexual desire decreases by an average of .02 percent?[i]
It’s a small drop, but over time it adds up, especially since the man’s sexual desire usually holds steady — presenting a conundrum that seems to be the result of an evolutionary miscalculation (or a sign that the higher power has a wry sense of humor).
Experts have surmised that perhaps it is a biological hard-wiring that keeps men at the ready while women lose interest … so much the better for men to produce many offspring. But modern research shows that there’s something else going on, and oftentimes numerous “something else’s,” that are extinguishing women’s desires.
Up to one-third of women suffer from a loss of desire; so what’s really going on?
Loss of Desire in Women: Top Causes
1. The Pill
Many women report, anecdotally, that their sex drive decreases when taking hormonal forms of birth control, such as oral contraceptives — but research also bears this out. Studies suggest that the use of the Pill and other hormone-based methods of birth control lead to lower levels of sexual desire and arousal, and even increases female sexual dysfunction.[ii][iii]
2. Relationship Issues
Sexual desire begins in the brain, which is why if your brain is cluttered with stress, work issues, relationship troubles, the kids and all the other goings on of daily life, it can easily kill your libido. This is true for both men and women, but women, specifically, crave emotional intimacy along with sexual intimacy. If there’s a lack of connection in the relationship, unresolved conflicts, poor communication, infidelity or any breach of trust, it can lead to a loss of desire.
If you’re taking medication for depression, loss of sex drive, as well as difficulty achieving orgasm, are two very common side effects. Antidepressants most likely to cause loss of desire include selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), such as Prozac, Celexa, Zoloft and Paxil, and serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), such as Cymbalta and Effexor XR.
Hormonal changes occur during pregnancy and breastfeeding that can lower a woman’s libido. At the same time, the birth of a child brings with it many issues that can influence sex drive, including fatigue, lack of time, and changes in body image.
As a woman gets older, particularly as she transitions to menopause, a drop in estrogen levels can lead to a loss of sexual desire and dryer vaginal tissues, which can make sex uncomfortable or painful. Testosterone, which boosts sex drive, also drops dramatically in women at the time of menopause.
6. Chronic Stress
Too much stress or worry that persists for weeks on end can put a heavy strain on your adrenal glands. Your adrenals are important for many bodily functions, one of which is producing sex hormones, so if your adrenals are burned out from too much stress (sometimes called adrenal fatigue), it can lead to a low sex drive and loss of desire.
7. Boredom With Sex
Women, like men, may grow bored with a monotonous sexual routine, and this can contribute to a lack of excitement and desire in the bedroom. In fact, many women “settle” for mediocre sex, and for a variety of reasons do not communicate this to their partners.
This doesn’t necessarily have to do with orgasms (although for some, it might); some women are not having their emotional needs met during sex either, and therefore rather than viewing sex as a pleasurable experience, she comes to view it as another “task” in the day, like doing laundry or washing dishes …
If you’re a man wondering how you can boost sexual desire in your wife / significant other and get the spark back that was there when you first met, check out these 4 simple steps that will not only rouse her libido, but make her crave you. There’s a vixen under that bathrobe just waiting to be unleashed, all you need to do is give her the proper attention …